Kena lectured by my godfather( dude from MOE ) bout my results. Preview of whatever's Ms Teo's gonna say on Monday.
I guess having the ability but not using it fully is more troublesome than not having any ability at all sometimes.
I'm not doing well enough... not for my abilities, not for entering university, not for scholarship. Its all very obvious, actually, but it seems being in an environment where passing all H2 subjects is considered good can make me forget something that obvious...I'm just relatively good, but not good.
What I'm trying to say is this. It seems the 2 years in CJC has made me forgot that there's lots of smarter people out there. People who were all around me, in those DLSS top classes, people from SJI, people like... Rui (haha forgive me, you're the only one I admit to be smarter than me). Back then I was just normal, average, maybe even below average. I still needed to study to stay in the competition.
Then, I screwed up O levels, came to CJC, and everything became too easy. Minimum effort worked miracles for one and half years. Until now.
I dunno how many times I've told myself this, but its about time I studied as though I was competing at that level again.
As my godfather puts it : "it doesn't matter if CJC is only able to produce one person who can enter university, just make sure you are the one, stop comparing against those within your school".
Great response when I presented my only defence that "352 people had one or none H2 passes" , according to brother paul.
Slackening down on the 7 habits was a mistake. Its time to get my act together.
I blogged @ | 9:30 PM
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Monday, July 20, 2009
My results are like shit... Pass everything but thats hardly the point, is it?
Miss Teo still gave me the highlighter (standard protocol, for A's) but I hardly deserve it... Terrible know she purposely one make me feel guilty LOL.
Results aside... Need to move on.
Been adding people on facebook. Acquaintances from ages ago... At that point of time, they were so close, so real, but now they feel...so far away, almost fictional, imaginary. I guess... in the process of getting where I am now, I missed out on alot of things... and people.
Hard as it is to admit... I actually miss those experiences and people, and its not like really close friends or anything, you know, just random, nice people. Its a pity I didn't get to know them there and then and let them drift away, isn't it?
lol...how unlike me to actually miss anyone... I guess it happens, once in awhile.
I blogged @ | 9:41 PM
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Thursday, July 16, 2009
I'm damn tired...
I blogged @ | 7:18 PM
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Wednesday, July 15, 2009
I think my grades are TERRIBLE up to this point of time. But I haven't gotten back maths so I shall leave the reflection for a later post.
My mum's irritating me... In the same way that my dad did last year.
Talk, talk, talk. Just keep on talking. Not good enough. Fucking hell, I'm already counted as doing exceptionally well among my peers, god damn it -.-
And it isn't as though my parents would have done any better than me if they were in my shoes. zzz.
Shouldn't remind them of that last point, though. The last time I told my dad I was doing much better than he ever would have done in JC to get him off my back things turned very ugly. lol.
I'm stifling under the expectations placed on me. It would help abit if I'm actually being recognized for my merits rather than being put down for being not good enough.
I'll show you what I mean: 2nd in level for Chem, but generally only passing everything else--- "CANNOT CONCENTRATE ON CHEM ONLY. NOT GOOD ENOUGH. WHO CARES BOUT UR CHEM MAN."
fine.
2nd in level for Chem, B for maths, B for GP(top), pass everything else--- "LETS NOT LOOK AT YOUR CHEM, MATHS and GP, YOUR PHYSICS AND CHINESE ARE A REAAAAAL PROBLEM. NEED TO BE BALANCED."
fuck.
2nd in level for Chem, D for maths, D for physics, D for GP(top again), and U for H2 Chinese--- "MATHS AND PHYSICS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. WHY H2 CHINESE SO BAD. GP? WHATEVER. BALANCE YOUR STUDIES!"
Chem deprove, D for an exceptionally hard physics paper, S for Chinese, and (I'm expecting B/A for maths)--- "OI WHY YOUR CHEM DEPROVE, CANNOT! PHYSICS D ONLY??? TERRIBLE! MATHS? LETS NOT TALK ABOUT MATHS. "
-.- go to hell man. So pro you come get my results try... confirm UUUUU. Fuck know.
I know my chem shouldn't have dropped. But I'm trying to fucking balance everything, so can you just STAY OUT OF MY FACE?
I've proven my worth more than enough times, stop acting like you know more than me. You're just older. Not neccesarily wiser.
UNDERAPPRECIATED.
I blogged @ | 9:48 PM
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Saturday, July 11, 2009
But I'm not Ji Hoon... This is all very screwed up.
btw, code language rocks.
I blogged @ | 10:46 PM
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Wednesday, July 01, 2009
I don't usually like what I don't understand,so your existence is actually pretty bizarre to me...
sigh.
"When people run in circles its a very very mad world." --Adam Lambert, Mad World
And I just keep running in circles...
I think I aced Maths today... the paper was too easy, I personally felt my maths was only slightly above average, but definitely not A standard yet. Ah well it seems like studying works after all.
Tomorrow is Chem...my 2nd A, naturally. But...if I only want an A I really don't need to be as good as I am now, so... what exactly do I want for chem?
