Just got back from bball training.
The physically exhausted state it left me had came along with an extremely cranky mood all the way back home... up till now. To put it shortly... I'm just exploding with frustration. I found myself cursing and scolding everything that could be cursed at on my way home.

The bus is too packed. Fuck the bus company. The kid is retarded, he shouldn't be trying to balance on a fully packed bus. Fuck him. Desmond Chan wants his compre handed up, out of the blue. Fuck him.

Just to name a few.

I dunno what has come over me... but I'm not rejecting it. Cause rage is what pushes me to greater heights, it unleashes my fullest potential. I reckon if I let this rage continue on, I'll be doing much better in all pracitical areas, cause I will then channel my energies to those areas, instead of wasting my time bothering bout stupid stuff like feelings, relationships. A time too many have I allowed feelings to cloud my judgement, making the wrong decisions while taking the feelings of others into consideration. Why bother? I ask myself. Its not as though I get anything out of it. And its not as though my feelings are taken into consideration by others.

My conclusion... a person like me ought not have feelings, at all. What's the point in having a person who can excel, only to be sidetracked, distracted by feelings? I tire of this. I really am tired.