爱徒有所成，为师岂不悦？
为师却无成，恐累徒前程。

*The not retarded ppl would have noticed that chinese poems are appearing on my blog more and more often. The idea is that these poems which are written by me usually are about matters which are most pressing to me at the time where the post was published. Therefore the poems would give a more accurate report of my mental state-- if you can understand them, and if you care enough.*



For one rather odd moment, I thought I wouldn't be seeing english characters on my blog ever again after the series of poems in chinese. But apparently, I was wrong, and I bet the people who are not as strong in chinese are happier now that english is taking over once again.

This update ought to cover quite a large scope, cos I haven't really been updating ever since I got into CJC, unless you count the two poems which no one can understand because they're too high class to bother about chinese. So now, the real account of how I've been coping shall begin...

1. My class.

1T21 has been awesome, as I've mentioned before. But around two months of schooling has enlightened me that a good class requires far more than just class unity and a good sense of fun. Since classes are a subset of schools, which are in turn a subset of education, academic excellence should take quite an important role in a class. Which brings me to my point : I'm worried bout my class, I seriously want the whole class to promote together, but this cannot be done unless everyone co-operates.At personal level, I'll offer help in chem to whoever requires and asks for it. Yet my efforts will be futile if there are still people who refuse to work --- people who remind me of myself in SJI. Lets hope they find the turning point like I did soon, or the class I love so much might have be seperated in a few months...


2.My academics

I just screwed up a chem test today, I didn't fail of course, but being a H3 potential student I seriously shouldn't be content with just passing, should I? I understand why Miss Teo is unhappy with me, cos I'm quite unhappy with myself. My classmates tell me I shouldn't be that affected, that its all okay, and that I didn't even fail when alot of them did, so I shouldn't be so emo.

Maybe.

But I've been spending so much time tutoring others, helping others, and now my results are like crap. Won't the people I taught lose faith in me? Most probably, even I lost faith in myself today. Besides, I did not screw up because I overlooked one particular aspect of a chapter, or anything like that. I screwed up because I was tensed, stressed out by the fact that this was my first chem test being undertaken as a H3 potential, and that I had to do well no matter what. My working ability slowed, I was paranoid, and that resulted in me having not enough time to finish the paper, thus screwing up. I've failed tests before, and I've been immune to it, but this time I was so fully prepared that there was seriously no reason to not do well. Failure due to stress... I'm pathetic.

My only console is that Joy managed to pass, thus justifying the tutoring I've been giving her and her undeniable effort. But other than that, the test was nothing but a disaster...

Oh and that long paragraph was just for chem, just imagine what this post would be like if i included the other subjects. In general, everything else is failing, chinese homework is piling, and I need to catch up soon. Somehow.


3. Misc.

Reading between the lines of the above paragraphs, anyone would feel that I'm being too involved in academics and leading a rather boring life. To a certain extent, that is kind of true. But I understand that I'm not the only one under pressure, and since I've been telling Joy to relax, I should lead by example and stop doing retarded stuff like screwing up exams due to overstress...zzz.

And what exactly am I to her?